Frequently Asked Questions
“Our fellowship is open to women and men, regardless of age, race, religion, ethnic background, marital status, or occupation. We welcome members of any sexual identity or orientation, whether they are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, or transgender.”
— Sex Addicts Anonymous, p. 1-2
“Abstinence does not mean giving up sex. That is celibacy. ...We don't give up our healthy sexual expressions; we give up acting-out: compulsive, painful and destructive behaviors.”
— Sex Addicts Anonymous, p. 3
In SAA, we have no rigid or absolute definition of abstinence. Each of us defines our own abstinence by determining, with the help of our sponsors and our support systems, what we should consider as our own acting-out behaviors. When we have identified these behaviors, we measure our abstinence (or sobriety) in terms of refraining from these specific activities.
What if I am attracted to other people at meetings?
Feelings of attraction can happen in many circumstances. Many of us have found ourselves attracted to others at one time or another. However, just because we feel attraction, we do not have to act on those feelings. We share our feelings with those we trust. With the support of our group, our sponsors, and our Higher Power we can get through these feelings and even learn from them.
Will I be the only woman at the meeting?
This is a possibility, but not a certainty. There are many women in our fellowship worldwide. This does not necessarily mean that there will be other women in any particular local meeting.
If you feel awkward as the only woman in a meeting, you may choose to attend telemeetings as an alternative. You may also email Grace at for information about how to contact other women.
Be aware that regardless of the number of women you meet in your local group, sobriety is possible through working the SAA program.
What about hugs and physical contact?
Physical contact, including hugs and handshakes, is a personal choice. You have the right to refuse physical contact with another member. You may say, "I am uncomfortable with hugging." Or something similar to that. Remember also that others have the right to say no to hugs or handshakes.
In the SAA program, we learn new ways of thinking and living, and choosing or refusing physical touch is part of that learning process.
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