I spent a great deal of time and effort trying to quit compulsive behaviors and obsessive thoughts. I was convinced that if I tried hard enough, if I willed hard enough, I would be able to quit. I even thought that, if I got religion, I would be able to quit. So I dove in—I began a decade of religious learning.
I was still alone, though. I was alone in my thoughts, and isolated in my religiosity. On my own, I defined the religious path, and even God. Recognizing that I was still unable to quit, I added mysticism and meditation to my religiosity, convinced that I just needed an enlightenment experience.
What I needed was a spiritual awakening, all right. The problem was that I was trying to do it alone, and define the awakening myself. During my religious study, I once read that “a prisoner cannot free himself.” I cannot free myself from the prison of my addiction. Hitting rock bottom and seeking the program of Sex Addicts Anonymous, I found recovery in the unity of a fellowship committed to the common welfare of each addict.
Helping others is the foundation of my recovery, not demanding that recovery, or others, conform to my desires, opinions and preferences. My personal recovery is tied to the recovery of others, and I realize this in a united fellowship.
Am I willing to vest my personal recovery with the recovery of others?